Life is scary.

It's a little difficult to pinpoint just when everything went wrong. For several years I lived a relatively normal life. I worked full time and even held down two jobs at one point. Living with my depression was something I'd grown used to, after all most of my life I've been depressed so thoughts of suicide were as normal to me as eating a bowl of cereal for breakfast. A full time job (or two) made these thoughts small, sent them to the back of my mind. After all, thoughts of killing oneself tend to quiet when you're busy alphabetizing books and video games.

Then things just sorta happened. It was a rather typical work week, I was third key at Gamestop (sorta the mini-manager) and I needed to shift my schedule around so I could get my TV fixed. Kinda a silly thing but considering it was broken for so long and the only time I could get a guy out to fix it was always on days I worked it wasn't that big of a deal. The assistant manager at the time (Billy; great guy) was more than happy to take that day (a Thursday, I remember that). About halfway through my day my TV had been fixed and I was going to see a movie with my friend Derrick when I got a call from work. A little puzzled I picked it up and the first thing I heard was:

"We were robbed."

It was Billy my aforementioned Assistant-manager. He explained that armed gunmen had entered our quiet little video game store and pointed GUNS at my co-workers faces and demanded money. Not only that but our district manager wanted me to come in and cover the night shift for my understandably traumatized Store manager and Assistant-manager (both had been there at the same time). I flat out refused. Why the heck would I want to go to work on the eve of an armed robbery!? After that none of us were comfortable at work. The day I moved up to third key we'd been burglarized the night before. I had handled it very well and in a mature fashion impressing my bosses. Considering it was the second time since I had worked there that we'd been burglarized I kinda knew what to do.

The next morning after this robbery I had to open the store, by myself. Thankfully my store managers then finance kept me company for awhile. Notably I was nervous about being alone. The day went quickly and smoothly though my nerves were still a little shot. Curse my empathy!

Not to long after this event I got a really bad eye infection and just fed up with work (I loved the job, hated the company) and my health I just flat out quit. Amusingly enough the entire store staff save one employee quit. The one person who kept on stayed around just to watch the fireworks! We were a close bunch. I miss them.

Sadly since then I haven't had a single real job. I've managed to snag a few jobs but due to various reasons I've been unable to keep. In fact the one job I did enjoy I got laid off from because the store manager foolishly hired too many people. I was really good at it too... and enjoyed it save for a handful of co-workers who apparently thought high-school behavior was perfectly fine in a work environment. About five months after the walk out from Gamestop I got in a really bad car crash. Someone in front of me on the highway decided coming to a complete and full stop was a dandy idea and I plowed right into his rear. My tiny little shitty Ford crumpled in half while his truck suffered minor damage. This affected me more than I had realized. For a few months after the accident I'd occasionally freak out while driving if someone did something stupid... considering I live in Arizona where people drive like idiots I ended up being freaked out a lot.

These two events put me on the path I'm currently still stumbling down with all the grace and dignity of a narcoleptic one legged monkey. This seems like a good opening post... I suppose.